13 days ago
For the greater part of my life, I looked to my significant others, friends or family to be my reason for change. I wanted to be the best version of myself for THEM. And while that may be true, doing something for someone else, whether it be "changing" behaviors, acting differently, going to therapy, exercising, ANYTHING- can't be done for someone else. This is not sustainable. Because the desire to change anything, or do more of something, NEEDS TO COME FROM WITHIN YOU. YOU need to want it for YOURSELF.
I have learned so much about myself over the years and definitely understand this sentiment, but I really believe that as of late, I have wanted to become the best version of myself FOR ME and it feels pretty damn good to be able to recognize that and now really implement action to work on the things I have been saying I want to work on for so long.
Being less reactive, getting defensive, being harsh with my words. All of these actions stem from fear and feeling the need to protect myself. I used to want to change these things for other people, because I knew how it affected them, but I never felt the need to actually want to change them for myself. Over the last few weeks, I have sat down and got to the bottom of my WHY. When you can get to the real reason of WHY you want to do something and find that it comes from YOU, that is when change, or action, or anything, can start to really happen.